Child’s play? Early practice helps to master patience

Day care worker Anne Schenke tells us about her day-to-day in child care

Anne Schenke, who is a day care worker at the Kita Am Studio, says her job is the best in the world. She is a patient person and practices that every day. A sense of calm needs cultivation. The 103 children of the Kita Am Studio do that every day – playfully.

Can you observe instances of patience with your children?

After circle time at 9am, the children occupy themselves in various areas. They can draw and make things in the studio or play with bricks, pinecones and sticks in the building corner. In the “Ruheinsel”, the island of rest, they look at books and listen to CDs. They particularly love the story about the elephant being given a massage. There is a part when the elephant goes on the slide on the playground and takes a bath, which I reenact for the kids on their backs – they are incredibly patient. The kids are also very patient with their discoveries, which we might find slightly odd: in the last few weeks, they have been cracking acorns with endless patience to get to the little maggots on the inside. They collected the maggots, counted them and compared them. This was a great patience game which the kids invented all by themselves.

Are we born patient?

Patience can be learned. It’s easier for those with a slightly more even temperament than the more lively ones. But it’s the basis for being able to have a conversation or playing with each other. Patience is the skill to tolerate the frustration until reaching a given result.

Is patience an important skill?

Very important, I would say. Some scientists rate patience even higher than the intelligence quotient. Under some circumstances, those who are able to wait are more successful. On the whole, some say patient people are more successful and happy than the impatient.

How does one teach children patience?

Learning patience begins with a regulated daily schedule. At the age of one and above, children understand that things follow each other. This is very important. At the age of one and a half, the young ones learn to distinguish present and past. They can already wait for something for a short while. Three-year-olds are well able to wait if they have a task. At our day care facility, for example, they build a sand castle until the slide is free. At the age of four, children can emphasise with others and they understand the point of waiting. It is extremely important to always keep to promises. When I tell my kids: “We will play after you’re done tidying up.” This teaches kids that patience is worthwhile. But they also don’t need us adults all the time. Play teaches them patience. Together but also on their own.

Do you offer special patience games?

Of course, every circle time we do a patience exercise. Every child waits until its turn. We also have games like memory, puzzles or pins as well as scientific experiments, appropriate for children, which we offer in cooperation with the “Haus der kleinen Forscher” (“Little Scientists’ House”), an early childhood education initiative. This is also fitting considering the area we are in.

Day care workers need nerves of steel. Are there situations when your patience snaps?

I think it is generally much harder to be patient when stress levels are high.

When is it particularly hard to be patient?

It is very hard for children to be patient when they’re hungry or tired. Or both. One has to recognize these boundaries. Not every instance of a child showing stubbornness is meant to annoy the parents. Sometimes the little ones are simply unable to wait any longer. The same applies to adults. There are also grown-ups who become irritable when they’re hungry.

Are today’s children different with regard to patience?

Patience as a norm was more important in the past. “Be quiet when adults are talking”, for example, was important. We experience very often that children are supposed to learn patience in preparation for school. This is very, very important to parents. Nowadays the educational aspect of patience is more important, while the aspect of manners has declined due to the more equal relationship of parents and children.

How do you relax in your spare time?

I love to go out into nature. I go out with my two children, who are two and 14 years old, and take our dog for walks. My own children have taught me that it is much easier to be patient if you allow oodles of time for everything.

Fabian, 6: “The sturgeon, that’s the most patient animal. He has to wait for his pray a long time, sometimes half an hour.”

Clara, 6: “Patience? I always have to wait for my birthday. It’s my birthday today. I am six and we’re having a party at kindergarden. I don’t have to wait any more.”

Fabio, 5: “I have to be patient when we go shopping. I have to wait until mum and dad got everything. Then I have to wait at the checkout until everybody has paid.”

Maria, 5: “Patience is when I have to wait for somebody. Sometimes I have to be patient when somebody wants to play somewhere else. My little brother Moritz is three. I always have to wait for him.”

Gwenda, 5: “I have to be patient when the slide on the playground is full. I have to wait until it’s my turn.”

By Jördis Götz for Adlershof Journal